No…that’s MY computer, baby ... by Jennifer F.
I think I knew before I gave birth to my son that I did not want to return to work full time, or to work outside the home. As my maternity leave drew to a close, I realized that the abhorrent cost of childcare, the ridiculously long waiting lists, and my own desire to stay home with my baby had already made my decision for me.
I was very excited that my former employer was more than happy to provide me with a laptop and allow me to work part time from home. I had visions of peacefully working away on my computer, gazing idyllically over my screen at my one year old son, who is playing independently on the floor of our living room. He pauses, looks up and smiles at me…I smile back, take another sip of coffee and return to my challenging, yet fulfilling tasks.
Enter reality. I could not have prepared for my little ball of energy’s obsessive preoccupation with all things that have buttons. Imagine if you will, the look of sheer glee on a one year olds face as I sat down with my laptop at my living room coffee table and fired it up. He power crawls to the table, pulls himself up and does his cute little side step, table-cruising shuffle over to me…laughing the whole way. As he begins to pound on my employer’s laptop I begin to regret signing the form accepting responsibility for such an expensive machine. The lure of the buttons have proven to be too much. I decide that, perhaps, now is not the time to get any work done. As I power down the machine I see realization dawning in his bright eyes, as the screen goes blank his face falls. I snap the laptop closed. That otherwise innocent “click” proved to have power similar to flames of a bonfire, millions of fire ants and teething molars…all rolled into one.
To this day, the sight of my laptop computer elicits a very strong reaction in my son. I have to make sure to put it away out of sight every night so that we don’t begin each morning with a melt down.
I’m considering buying him his own laptop.
About the Author
Jennifer F. is a work at home mom from
Liberation Through Motherhood by Kirsten Reich
Never in a million years would I have imagined I would be a work-at-home Mom. With a Master's education in Sociology I studied -- nay, preached-- about a mother's right to be in the workforce; about breaking the barriers that (I felt) had for so long subjected women to a life of virtual slavery to the home. Before getting pregnant I would tell my husband adamantly that he would be staying home with the children while I worked outside the home-- no "if's", "and's" or "but's" about it. Afterall, I was a liberated woman with 2 higher-education degrees, so it only made sense that I would be the breadwinner in the family. Nobody, not even my child, would force me to take the traditional roll of housewife.
Fast forward to the birth of our first (so far, only) child.
What do you mean we only get 6 weeks off in California???
Because my job did not offer maternity leave, I had to apply for Disability pay. I never imagined I would be applying for Government assistance. Why should I? I spent 7 years of my life in higher education for the sole purpose of making a substantial amount of money. Now here I am applying for Government assistance. I was furious with my work for not offering Maternity leave, and even more upset with myself for feeling ashamed of my situation. It was during this 6 week period I came to realize that all of my studies could not have prepared me for the complex reality of combining motherhood with livelihood. Why did I have to choose one over the other?
In an instant, my daughter changed my whole perspective on how I defined myself. It was not the fancy suits, the big paychecks, or the Corporate lifestyle I was after anymore. I just wanted to be with my daughter. Of course, the reality of the situation was that, like so many other couples, we needed two incomes to thrive. We had a mortgage, car payments, student loans, and rising medical bills. My 6 week leave (with minimal pay) was dwindling and I could not bear the thought of leaving my infant. We had not even searched for daycare, and I couldn't wrap my brain around how I was to continue nursing. I was already struggling to produce enough milk to sustain her, and now the thought of reducing our feedings was devastating. I faced a new, unexpected challenge-- how will I ever leave my daughter? My decision was made.
A week before I was to return to work, I called my boss. I explained to her that I would not be returning, that motherhood was calling and I was staying home to answer. To my surprise, my boss-- who did not even offer maternity leave and had no children of her own--understood and wanted to keep me employed with them! Within a few days my boss had created a new position, one in which I would be paid the same salary, but get to work from home. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. I could have my cake and eat it too!
To this day, I cannot fathom my life in the Corporate world. Truthfully, raising a child while working simultaneously has to be at least equally as difficult and fast-paced as a Corporate lifestyle. It is most certainly as rewarding-- not in the form of a large paycheck, but in the precious moments I have with my daughter day in and day out.
Now I am doubly proud to have my education and my stay-at-home status. It has made me more empathetic to the tough choices mothers and fathers have to make with regards to raising families. Whether one chooses to work outside the home, work at home, or not work at all-- I understand and respect that decision.
Admittedly, I sometimes envy my husband for having only one job while I work full-time as an employee and as a mother, in essence- two full-time jobs! It is especially bothersome when he complains that the house hasn't been cleaned or dinner isn't on the table when he comes home. (Did I mention how irate it makes me to assume my duty as a woman/wife is to cook and clean as well as take care of the children?) If only he could live a day in my shoes. It is laughable to imagine him trying to contact clients on the phone while simultaneously wrangling a toddler who has an infatuation with the dog bowl, and then cook and clean after a more-than-8-hour shift! This is the life I chose. For better or worse, I have the best of both worlds. I still am Super-Woman, only instead of a cape and suit, I get to wear my pajamas
About the Author: Kirsten Reich lives in San Diego, CA with her husband, 13 month old daughter, 2 dogs and 2 cats. She has a Master's in Sociology from SDSU and Bachelor's in Cultural Anthropology from UCSB.
Why Do I DoThis? by Annemarie Wheeler
If I ever had the opportunity to meet Mister Rogers, I bet 3 red trolleys he would have asked me that one question he asked nearly every guest on his television show...when did I first realized I wanted to do what I do?
I would have looked around at his Make Believe world and remembered the days when a little girl in classic Winnie the Pooh shirts and pony tails thought Make Believe was real. Was it the way his community of friends helped each other and celebrated together that first planted the seeds to want to help others find zest for living?
Maybe it was being one of the oldest children in a huge family. I loved to set up activities and adventures for my younger siblings! Believe me, they were never bored…and neither were my parents!!
Or was it the “takes a village to raise a child” living philosophy that first got me interested in jumping into peoples’ lives and finding joy in guiding them to success? Have you ever motivated all the kids in your neighborhood? As a kid, I got nearly all the neighborhood kids to sign up for my invented day camp where I set up little improvement stations and they got to complete a task, or play a game. It was a blast!
We hold a combination of our life experiences, so all of the above would have been great opportunities to plant the seeds of what I love doing every day… life coaching!
You probably are not new to the term life coaching. Life coaching is a broad term that can be applied to any aspect of life. There are test-taking life coaches, horse riding life coaches, business life coaches, and even new mommy life coaches! Each niche has something special to offer at special times in our lives.
How is my coaching a special gem? I have a gift and it gives me great joy to use it. This gift is the ability to accept the invitation into my client’s life and see where she is, ask questions to help her see where she wants to go, and guide her to obtain those goals. You might remember a grandmotherly wise woman saying the only thing that is constant is change. Life is always changing and I am right there as my client’s advocate in her life. I’m on her side and I’m independent of the other relationships in her world so I am safe for her to brainstorm with, share thoughts and concerns with, and to make new life strategies as needed. It is my joywork and I loooooove it!
Can a box coach? I don’t just use forms and questionnaires to coach. I don’t use a “coaching out of the box” approach either. Mister Rogers would agree each woman is unique. There has been and never will be another person like her ever. My ultimate goal in coaching is to help her to see that she has all she needs to honor her s-e-l-f and what she can become. Once she really knows this deep down in her soul and in every cell, she becomes an empowered woman, a more fulfilled woman, and a woman who sees life with a new perspective. She becomes self-generating and positively impacts the world. Have you ever done something really good and you were just so happy you felt you were like a shinning light illuminating brightly for miles around? That is what it is like to live life in a fulfilling way.
Who do you know can say they have zest for living? If life is a gift, shouldn’t we all have zest for living? We all deserve joy!
How did I come to the decision to be a WAH mom and a WAH business owner?
I’ll side with a timeless cliché, “Home is where the heart is.” I have all the things I love right here. My husband, children, dogs, family and friends, books (I love books!), nature garden, hammock, and peace. Coaching is giving from the heart to another heart. We can’t give what we don’t have! I coach as if my client were right here in my home office with me enjoying great coaching, refreshments, and brainstorming for life a new SWOT session!
If you or someone you know is ready for coaching with me, I invite you to come to www.egoimpact.com ! I’d love to hear from you and you might enjoy the Free Goal Quiz and other goodies at the site.
Coach Annemarie
Annemarie Wheeler, LSCC, HSMS, CFNS
My Perspective by Christina B.
I knew absolutely NOTHING about what I was soon to venture into.
I had a baby in August 2006 and after dealing with allergies and reflux and basically a child who never slept or stopped screaming for 3+ months It was time to go back to work. I found daycare and had been going into work one day per week to prepare myself and the children for the transition.
Two weeks (October 2006) before I was due to return, I decided I couldn’t leave him and I quit my job to stay home with my son. I was a wreck and cried anytime I talked about my job. I missed the students and the job terribly. I loved being home with my son BUT I needed something else to do as well. I missed my job and my old purpose. For the next few months I thought about what I wanted to do. By January I was convinced I wanted to make baby things. Even though I had never before used a sewing machine I thought this was a great idea. I bought machine and I started creating hand-made babies items back in February of 2007. I was selling them to friends and family and to some wonderful women from pregnancy boards I had come to know. I made all sorts of items including; shopping cart covers, diaper bag organizers, diaper covers, hats, booties, and more. I started selling on Ebay, Etsy and by word of mouth. Next, I decided to open a website of my own to sell on. I got together a group of wonderful women (moms), who make hand-made items. That is how my site began. BePeBaby.com: a site for all things hand-made for baby, toddler, and mom. My biggest seller still to this day have been fleece baby booties. I recently began finding local shops to carry my booties and I am looking forward to seeing my items on shelves.
What my day looks like:
I roll my self out of bed around 7:00 or 7:30 grab my jabbering, babbling son from his crib and start our day. We start with breakfast, play time and dressing him if there is time much like anyone else would. He has a snack around 9:30 and he takes his nap from about 10-12; if I am lucky.
Getting at the computer or sewing machine while he is still awake is not a smart idea. They are both far too tempting to him and I spend more time redirecting him then I do getting anything done to make it worth while. They are always more interested in what you are doing then in the $100’s of dollars worth of toys that you buy to help entertain them.
When he is napping I shower and dress, check E-mails and orders. On a good day I then sit down and start cutting and sewing. Again, I sell more booties then anything so I have been going with that and making and sending samples to local shops lately.
He wakes around 12:00 and we eat lunch, clean up, including plucking the thrown food out of the dogs fur, and get out of the house to food shop, mail out orders, run other errands or the occasional outing or play date.
He is really not fun if he is late for or misses his naps. So, we rush back to the house by 3:00 for nap #2. I normally get an hour to an hour and a half out of this nap. I pick up the house and get a little more work time in, if I can, before it is time to start getting
I rarely ever work nights because I am too darn tired and I spend too much time posting on message boards, blogging and surfing, but I have been known to sit sewing on a Saturday or Sunday while my husband watches movies and my son sleeps.
I normally only get a couple of hours of work done a day and at the end of a day I am as worn out as anyone else who works a full time job out of the home. Well, my husband does not view it this way. But either way, I am glad to have this time to spend with my baby boy and soon his new brother. It has been less then 8 months, my business is still new and I don’t make much money right now, but it is satisfying to see my things sold and enjoyed. I am hoping that my booties continue to do well and my business flourishes. I think having the opportunity to work from home and enjoy your children is wonderful. Most days it is not completely productive and certainly does not always run smoothly as you would hope but at the end of every day I always feel like it is worth it. My son is now well adjusted and the sweetest little boy with a temper that I know
and I am a much more satisfied WAHM since deciding to try something while staying home. My Perspective by Lisa Morguess
I remember being 13 years old and hemming drapes by hand for a neighbor lady who ran a drapery business out of her garage. That was my first “job,” aside from babysitting, and also my first foray as a “professional” seamstress. My mother sewed quite a bit and taught me how to sew on her old Singer - I made my first dress at the tender age of eight! Around the time I was hemming drapes as an adolescent, I also started making decorative pillows and stuffed bears at home, and I would hold these very small-scale craft sales in my driveway to earn money.
So that enterprising spirit has been with me for a long time. Since the time I officially quit my so-called “real” job, I have had my hands in a few different attempts at making some money from the comfort of my own home, including doing bookkeeping for a local business-owner, and providing before-school care for a neighbor child. The bookkeeping job proved to be too time intensive for someone with a cranky, high-maintenance infant, so I gave that up after about a year. By the time I took on the morning babysitting job, I already had four children and another on the way, and I thought, “Well, what’s one more?” But I discovered that one more of someone else’s child is not the same as one more of your own child! So after a year of that, I very nicely told her parents they needed to find someone else to care for their daughter before school.
ShnuggabugBaby was sort of a secondary business I started on the heels of another web-based business I started when my twins were babies. That business, JoyousExpressions.com, specializes in hand-made jewelry. The story of the inspiration behind that business is simple: I was out shopping with my baby girl twins one day at a rather high-end baby store, and I saw these beautiful personalized baby bracelets on display. I fell in love with them on the spot and decided that I must, of course, have them for my new daughters. When I looked at the price tags, however, I almost fell over. I took a closer look at the bracelets and realized, “I could make these myself!” So I did. I found a local jewelry supply shop, and I made personalized crystal bracelets for my girls, and a matching one for myself. That was all I set out to accomplish. But it wasn’t long before friends were asking about the bracelets, and wanting me to make bracelets for them, and their daughters, and even their mothers. So I bought a domain name, built a website, and began selling my jewelry.
My baby sling business has a similar background. By the time I had my fifth baby, I had tried just about every type of baby carrier out there, and I was never completely happy with any of them until I discovered a pouch sling. I ordered a very expensive one from a big-name baby sling manufacturer, and fell in love with it. I realized, though, that I could easily figure out how to make my own. Although I loved the one I had bought, I suddenly had all these ideas of different fabrics that would make great-looking, funky, hip slings - fabrics I wasn’t finding anywhere else on the market. So I made a few slings for myself, and decided to put a few up for auction on eBay, just to see if anyone was interested in buying my mom-made slings. All the slings I listed on eBay sold, so I decided to buy another domain name and build another website to sell my slings. My other products, nursing covers and “Petite Diaper Packs,” were both inspired by seeing similar products widely available on the market, but wanting to tweak the basic designs I saw and offer something stylish, functional, and affordable. I have some ideas for a few other items I hope to add to my product list in the near future, which have been inspired by my kids!
Although my sling business was born after my jewelry business, it has become my primary business, quite frankly because I have found that I enjoy sewing more than I enjoy making jewelry, so I promote ShnuggabugBaby to a much greater degree than I do JoyousExpressions. I promote my business by advertising with local mother’s groups, and on various internet sites. Additionally, I give away freebies from time to time. For instance, I’ve donated gift certificates for baby slings to contribute to baskets of goodies being raffled off for fund raisers for the MOMS Club chapter I belong to, as well as my sons’ school. I also use my products myself, which is an excellent form of advertising. Offering a quality product at a good price, with great customer service - those factors are what will bring customers back for more, as well as their friends.
The two best pieces of advice I would give other moms considering at-home work are:
• Choose something that fits well with your family and your lifestyle. If you have small children, for instance, getting involved in at-home work that requires a lot of desk time or phone calls, might not be very realistic.
• Be realistic about your expectations with respect to what you will put into your at-home work, and what you will get out of it.
My husband is extremely supportive of my wahm business ventures. He is always interested in new products I make, and has been known to have suggestions for features which I’ve actually incorporated. My kids, too, love to see the things I’ve made, and my oldest son gets almost as excited as I do when a new order comes in through my website.
These web-based businesses work best for me because having a house full of small children is not exactly conducive being involved in any type of business that would require a high demand on my time. I do most of my sewing (and jewelry making) when the kids are asleep, so the impact my “work” has on family time is minimal.
While I realize that I’m never going to get rich from my wahm businesses, they definitely provide a creative outlet for me, and it’s nice to have money for some of the extras, like dinner out, or getting my nails done, without feeling guilty about it.
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